No excuse really, why I haven�t posted in so long.

In my defense, tho�, I have to say that although I wish were it were otherwise, writing isn�t as easy as bleeding.

***

I responded to two August wedding invitations this week that I would come with a guest, the implication of course being that I would be coming with a date.

I don�t know what possessed me to do it.

I�ve lived dateless in Austin for five years now. Why in hell I thought I could find a date in 5 weeks, I dunno.

***

I got my picture taken with Lou Ferrigno before the Hulk screening at the Village Alamo Drafthouse. He�s so cool.

He was seated at his autograph table and waved me over for my picture. Still sitting, he put his arm around my waist and flexed so his muscles would bulge.

It occurred to me that my thigh wasn�t as big around as the arm squeezing my waist.

It occurred to me that I shouldn�t make him angry. That I probably wouldn�t like him if I made him angry. Nice Hulk. Gooood Hulk�

***

I�m getting a puppy Saturday. He�s a brindle coat mastiff. I�m calling him Grendel. I�m out of my mind with worry that I might love him too much.

***

A headhunter wants me to consider moving to work in St. Petersburg, Fla. He�s gonna buy me dinner, wine and dine me. (If it were a date, I might let him 69 me�) It�s not a date � and I don�t want to move to Florida � but it�s nice to be hunted.

***

I had a birthday Sunday.

***

The quandary: A farmer has a fox, a chicken and a bag of grain that he has to get across a river. He�s got one canoe. In which order should he take the fox, the chicken and the grain across?

See, if you take the chicken first and go back for the grain, the chicken will eat the grain while you go back for the fox. If you take the grain first, the fox will eat the chicken before you can go back for either. You get the idea.

The answer: Take the fox and the grain across together, then go back for the chicken. Nobody said you had to take them one at a time.

The moral: Screw expectations � especially your own.

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