An Act of Contrition:

Oh my stomach and connected GI tract, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. You, who are all good, and deserving of all my love.

And I detest of my weakness: Even though I am lactose intolerant, I ate ice cream and hurt you.

If you'll give me 10 uninterrupted minutes of not sending me to the bathroom now, I'll resolve to eat the frozen, creamy custard creation no more; to renounce said affinity for pints of Mexican vanilla, coffee, lychee, lemon custard and butter pecan; and to avoid the near occasions of milksha -- Oh, God! Here I go again...

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